Searching for balance between art and motherhood is like flying and drowning. Coupled with maintaining a sense of self while navigating expected roles of modern womanhood, my mind freezes in a state of deep exhaustion and tense bewilderment. Through creating the work in Quiet/Loud I struggle to find place, meaning, purpose, and time, through frenzied motion and fairy tale thoughts illicitly scrawled on walls with school pencils. This is my path from dislocation to resolution; a representation of the thread between home, mind, and body.
My current imaging process of capturing self-portraits in motion speaks to the multi-tasking frenzied pace of each day, while also visually embodying the connection between conscious, subconscious, and unconscious through action and reaction. The contradiction I feel between asserting an identity as an individual, and being lost in the onslaught of mothering is portrayed by being silenced, blinded, and teetering on a precipice with broken, disembodied toys. Utilizing encaustic medium is my way of quieting the penetrating sound while also surrendering to its insistence, and the many-step process of creating these individual works and installations is imbued with both meditative and monotonous motion driven by the need to reconcile the disparity of suffering and love.