Searching for balance between art and motherhood is like flying and drowning. Coupled with maintaining a sense of self while navigating expected roles of modern womanhood, my mind freezes in a state of deep exhaustion and tense bewilderment. Through creating the work in Quiet/Loud I struggle to find place, meaning, purpose, and time, through frenzied motion and fairy tale thoughts illicitly scrawled on walls with school pencils. This is my path from dislocation to resolution; a representation of the thread between home, mind, and body.
My current imaging process of capturing self-portraits in motion speaks to the multi-tasking pace of each day, while also visually embodying the connection between conscious, subconscious, and unconscious through action and reaction. The contradiction between asserting an identity as an individual, and being lost in the onslaught of mothering is portrayed by being silenced, blinded, and teetering on a precipice with broken, disembodied toys. Utilizing encaustic medium is my way of quieting the penetrating sound while also surrendering to its insistence, and the many-step process of creating these individual works and installations is imbued with both meditative and monotonous motion driven by the need to reconcile the disparity of suffering and love.